Throughout my life I never considered myself to have had a bad relationship with food. I really never did. I thought that because I’d always eaten a few vegetables every day and had never severely restricted my intake, I was totally balanced and fine.
I was wrong. (Ooh so dramatic)
I know I was wrong because of one evening last month when I was faffing about in the deeper (and crazier) realms of vegan youtube. In the middle of a very vehement argument for the benefits of a caffeine-free fat-free fruit only diet I caught a fleeting reference to a podcast called ‘Food Psych’. I googled it, downloaded it, listened, sat back, and thought
Turns out I have some food stuff to deal with. A lot of food stuff.
Now, I don’t want you to think I’m so easily swayed that I can go from ‘la la la perfectly fine let’s all have a nutritious snack’ to cupcake-phobic wreck from listening to just one (admittedly excellent) podcast. I’m not that simple. I had, if I’m honest, known on a semi-conscious level for some time that my approach to eating had been a bit unbalanced since my teens, and was becoming wackier with every passing year. I didn’t realise quite what a bad state I had reached though, until I listened to Food Psych.
I am so grateful I stumbled across it.
The podcast looks at eating disorders, the diet industry, intuitive eating, body positivity and the health at every size movement. I’ve been binge-listening for weeks, and my relationship with food has already begun to transform into something much, much healthier.
At first I wanted to write blog post explaining the many issues I discovered in my relationship to food, how I began to overcome them, and the different ideas that are helping me, but I soon realised that post could easily run to over 10,000 words.
So I’m starting a series instead. I don’t have all the answers, so a series which follows my ups and downs will probably be a lot more helpful than a one-off ‘here’s how you do it’ post anyway. So The Body Positive Diaries will chart my journey to improve my relationship with food and body image through all its ups and downs, as well as talking more generally about the food and eating issues we face as women. I’m excited.
If you want to come along for the ride and try to improve your own body image perceptions and eating patterns too, some of my favourite resources are below.